I was a happy child. I often daydream about when I will have kids and providing them a childhood filled with joy, excitement and curiosity. This isn’t some exercise in self-adulation, but an sincere expression of how much value I place into bringing other people into this world. Maybe I sound foolishly optimistic, the world is going to shit, why would you want someone to experience the ills of late stage capitalism they say. No one can be certain how the future will unfold, but I liken my unwavering optimism to the mindset of an athlete.
Every (good) professional athlete believes he is touched by god himself to be the best player of their sport. If you ever competed in anything, you know you have to believe you’re the best and that you’re going to win. Even humanity is a 100:1 underdog to the threats that loom over us, the collective has to believe another world is possible and follow through by continuing the human project.
Before I sound like one of those pro-natalist freaks that wants to have as many kids as possible, I find that equally irresponsible as how could they possibly provide adequate bonding time, nurture and education with several kids. Well they don’t, they simply outsource that labor. Take the situation where couples (or their companies) will pay a much poorer woman to bear their child, a complete commodification of the body. Once the baby has born it passes from the surrogate to a nanny, who feeds the physical and emotional needs of the newborn. This cycle is continued throughout childhood and this person is thus denied one of the most important human connections not out of the unfortunate circumstances of life, but rather the capitalistic excess that incentivizes careers before child-raising.
Every month, headlines pour in about South Korea’s declining birth rate and it’s governments hopelessness with dealing with it (it’s currently 0.72). When the underpinning of any modern economy is the prophecy of endless growth, the natural inversion of the demographic dividend is a fear shared by every OECD country. One solution is to allow for immigration, but the incredibly homogenized societies of East Asia and Europe fail both politically and socially to make immigrants feel belonging to that country. Another solution is to simply be okay with degrowth. Even if we can expand throughout the universe for eons as techno-optimists believe, entropy is irreversible and there is an inevitable point where we must accept finitude.
Its easy to point to the reasons why people aren’t having kids, and remark if that we solve them then birth rates will come back. Having kids is incredibly expensive, and governments like Hungary will spend 4% of their GDP incentivizing people to have kids. More women in the workplace leads to more woman not wanting to stymy their successful careers by the proven cost of leaving the workforce for raising a child. Even if a couple wants to have a child, in overworked countries like Japan or Korea they may not have the time or resources. It takes a village to raise a child, and there are no longer any villages. We live farther from our relatives and family, and so the only option to shift the responsibility of child-rearing is to daycares and schools (if you’re wealthy enough). Many a teacher today will complain that they simultaneously raise a child while trying to educate them.
Nowadays, who actually gets to raise their own child? It’s certainly not the financial elite, who extricate themselves from any responsibility for their children. It’s not the destitute, who have to work multiple jobs in order to simply provide for their families. It’s not the middle class, who are having fewer and fewer kids. There might be incredible couples out there that can balance the pressures of life while also spending adequate time bonding with their children, but that seems to be a smaller and smaller proportion of the population.